I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
