Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
