Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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