i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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