Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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