new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
