Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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