1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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