How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
