yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
