Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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