take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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