You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
