Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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