I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Couch. On fire.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
