Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
