I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
