I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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