3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
