Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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