Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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