I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
