That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
