Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
