we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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