Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
