I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
