i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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