How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
