If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
