oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
