I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
