eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
