Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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