Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
