at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
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You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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