he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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