Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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