tell your sister to shave her snatch
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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