Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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