Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
