i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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