how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
