I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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