i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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