i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm really busy with my period
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