plz talk dirty to me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My life is pants optional.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
