i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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