whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the condom got lost in my hair
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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