i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
