I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
