is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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