Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
