this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
