Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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