I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
