Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
