its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
