Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
