the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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