goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
