"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
