would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
